WASHINGTON (AP) – David Perry reflects on his youthful days as a gay man in Washington, DC, during the 1980s, describing it as an “absolute explosion.” After graduating from university in Richmond, Virginia, he always viewed the nation’s capital as a “major city.”
He came out in DC while working at the National Fund for Arts, where his boss was a gay Republican, and humorously recalls, “I lost my virginity in DC on August 27, 1980.”
The nightlife was thriving, filled with both gay Republican and Democratic men and women.
“There were a lot of gay men in DC, and many seemed to work in the White House and Congress. It became somewhat of a joke. This was before the Internet—like the ‘Placebook’ of sorts—and the closet was quite transparent. No one really spoke about it,” he says.
He also reminisces about a sign near Dupont Circle Metro Station that tracked the total number of AIDS deaths in the District of Columbia.
“I remember when the number was three,” Perry (63) recalls. Now a public relations expert in San Francisco, Perry belongs to a generation that casts a shadow over global pride gatherings and DJ afterparties, including this weekend’s 2 Day Block Party on Pennsylvania Avenue. Advocates are sounding the alarm about the quiet crisis facing LGBTQ+ individuals nearing retirement age, particularly those at risk of marginalization within their own communities.
“It’s easy to celebrate youth and parties,” says Sophie Fisher, LGBTQ program coordinator at Seabury Resources for Aging, which operates queer-friendly retirement homes and supportive living facilities. She recently organized the Silver Pride Event last month for LGBTQ+ individuals over 55 years old.
These are the “first people from the movement” who fought for gay rights and protections, Fisher shares. Now, “Their contributions risk being swept under the rug.”
Loneliness and Isolation
The challenges faced by senior LGBTQ+ individuals are significant.
“Our society prioritizes youth, and when you add LGBTQ into that mix, it’s a double blow,” explains Christina da Costa of Groupsage. “These intersecting factors create a population that is far less likely to thrive compared to their younger counterparts.”
Older LGBTQ+ individuals often find themselves disconnected from their families and less involved in raising children, da Costa points out. Gay men over 60 belong to a generation that was devastated by AIDS, leading to chronic loneliness and isolation.
“As I age, I don’t frequent bars anymore, making it tough to find a peer group,” says Yvonne Smith, a 73-year-old DC resident who moved to the city at 14.
These older adults frequently face economic challenges. Many were forced out of their homes upon coming out, and being openly gay or non-binary led to job loss or instability during the 1990s.
“You didn’t want to leave the gay bar and run into a colleague or a student,” Smith recalls. “If it became known that you were gay, there were fears of losing security clearances or job opportunities altogether.”
This April, the founder unveiled Mary’s House, a new 15-unit living facility for LGBTQ+ seniors in southeastern Washington. Such comprehensive senior care centers are becoming increasingly necessary for LGBTQ+ elders.
DC Queer icon, performer, and presenter Rayceen Pendarvis notes that older community members entering nursing homes and assisted living facilities often encounter social isolation or hostility from other residents.
“As we age, we lose our peers and loved ones, and some of us can no longer maintain our homes,” Pendarvis explains. Mentioning the term “twins,” they add, “Some feel compelled to revert to the closet, which is profoundly painful.”
Generational Divide
Perry and others recognize a distinct gap between their generation and younger LGBTQ+ individuals. Perry observes that today’s youth consume far less alcohol and engage in less bar-hopping, thanks to dating apps.
Some older individuals feel frustrated that younger generations may not appreciate the struggles of the past.
“They take the protections we fought for as if it were their birthright,” Smith notes.
Younger generations, according to Pendarvis, seem more “comfortable.”
“We fought hard for the rights we have today,” Pendarvis emphasizes. “We fought for our place at the table. We created the table!”
As the current political landscape witnesses the Trump administration’s culture war targeting trans protections and perpetuating binary views of gender, the fight continues.
Intriguingly, this struggle is complicated by quieter realities within the LGBTQ+ community. Issues around generational divides often create tension, especially among seniors. Perry notes that some older lesbians still harbor discomfort towards trans women, while some older gay men express unease about drag queens.
“There’s a considerable generational sensitivity that older gay individuals need to acknowledge,” he states. “The gender fluidity that has emerged in the past 15 years can confuse some of us.”
Despite these internal complexities, many hope to see a resurgence of activism and street politics among the younger LGBTQ+ generation. With Sunday’s gathering and March for Freedom commencing at the Lincoln Memorial, the event promises to be especially defiant leading up to 2025.
“I believe we are entering a new era of activism,” Perry asserts. “I think we will find our resolve and our walking shoes (perhaps orthopedic ones) and protest again. But I genuinely hope the younger generation will help us carry this torch.”
Source: apnews.com